In leadership training, participants are typically told how important listening is. Yet few heed the advice.
I can understand why. Often, it’s because we already think we are good listeners. But how a leader listens is more crucial than one’s listening style as a peer.
Leaders’ everyday behaviors have gravitas and impact. Subtleties and nuances can be misinterpreted and blown out of proportion. The simple act of pushing back on an idea can send a leader’s direct report into a tizzy. Leaders have to be much more mindful of how they respond to ideas offered by their direct reports.
I call this “leaderful listening.” I learned how to listen better as a leader from doing it wrong.
When I was in my first year on the board of my national professional association, I thought I was a good leader. But I had a lot to learn.
Tom, a long-time member approached me to suggest that our national convention should always be in his home city, San Francisco. I proceeded to tell him it was too expensive, our members liked to go to different cities each year, and there weren’t a lot of hotels that could accommodate the quantity of meeting rooms we need. Case closed.
I was essentially saying it was a stupid idea.
Is that how a good leader would listen. No!
